Keeping my resolutions.

Hi all.

I'm really sorry it's been so long (long even for me), and that I ended things on such a depressing note. Normally I'm actually a pretty positive and upbeat person. It's just that in the last 5 years or so, I've been finding myself in more and more of a rut.

New Years' is the worst. All I can think about is being in the same situation, the same position, the same place in my life on Dec 31 of the next year, and realizing how much I hate it all.

Brandi knows how unhappy I am, and it's having an effect on our marriage, as I turn into a miserable d!ck who can't help but lash out at those around him. It just...seems like I'm watching my life slowly end.

So, with her help and support I'm going to try to keep my resolution this year.

In early March, I started looking around for schools, and in April I started classes at Colorado Technical University to get my bachelor's degree in IT Software Development. My hopes are that I can use this to advance my career and become a programmer. I've loved what little programming I've done, I love to build things, and I can be extremely anal-retentive when I want to be, so I hope I can be at least adequate in the field.

To say I have an eclectic bunch of classes is a gross understatement. With my associate's degree, I have classes here and there already taken, so I don't exactly fit into the program, as I have about half my classes transferring in. So initially in April they put me into two freshman courses (Comp II and Precalc) and my very first junior level course (UNIX Systems Programming).

I won't kid you....school scared the living piss out of me. I hadn't taken a school course in 9 years....and a math course in fifteen. And I did start out a bit shaky...where I used to get by on brainpower, I actually had to put in some time and work this time around. A LOT of work. I am working full time and (when I can) going to school full time, which doesn't allow for a lot of free time through the week. But I survived it, and I'm happy to say that a week or so ago I finished out the quarter with a 4.0 GPA. That's right...I just aced a math course, AND my first 300-level programming course. I have no illusions on maintaining a 4.0 throughout school, but it was a good, strong start and I'm taking a couple weeks to feel proud of myself before we start things up again with Macroeconomics, and then a 5.5 week Advanced Web Publishing course that will have me in class from 5:30 - 10:30 every Wednesday night.

So life is busy, but really really good lately. My neck issues have lessened to being downright livable, and my depression is also largely subsiding. I've found out that I haven't totally lost my capacity for learning, and I'm doing well at school.

Hopefully in the future, I will be putting Negative Nancy away a bit more often, and writing about things that genuinely amuse or tick me off, and not so much with the "Woe is me" crap.

In other news, my wife has decided to support the spirit of the tax bonus thingy and book a Hawaiian cruise for December. Given she just won another $1k on top of that, and how supportive and understanding she's been with school, I really don't have the heart to say no. So 9+ hours on a plane each way looms in my future. Joy.... But even I am not totally immune to the fun and excitement that comes with going to Hawaii.